


Lumpy's Physical Exam

by Sideshow_Raquaelle



Category: Happy Tree Friends
Genre: Doctor/Patient, Humor, Medical, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:38:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sideshow_Raquaelle/pseuds/Sideshow_Raquaelle
Summary: Lumpy goes to the Hospital for a Physical Exam.





	Lumpy's Physical Exam

One day, Lumpy was in his trailer, minding his own business. Suddenly, however, he heard the phone ring and he answered it.

"Hello?" he asked.

“Hello, Lumpy?” someone on the other line said. “This is Dr Wrinkles.”

"Hello Dr. Wrinkles," said Lumpy.

“I’m calling to remind you that you’ve got a Physical Exam coming up,” said Dr. Wrinkles.

"Uh...what?" asked Lumpy.

"A Physical Exam," said Dr. Wrinkles again.

“You have a physical exam coming up,” Dr Wrinkles then said.

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

“And it’s scheduled for today in an hour,” Dr Wrinkles also said. “You’ll have to come to the doctor’s office then.”

“Okay,” said Lumpy, “But what time?”

“About 11 AM,” said Dr Wrinkles.

“And how long will this Physical Exam be for?” asked Lumpy.

"At least two hours," replied Dr Wrinkles.

“Okay then,” said Lumpy, “See you in two hours, Dr. Wrinkles, bye.”

"Bye," Dr Wrinkles replied before Lumpy hung up the phone.

Lumpy then began to think, he remembered yesterday that he had promised his girlfriend Skittles that he’d take her out this afternoon but he couldn't do two things at once... Hopefully Skittles would understand he had his physical but then an idea came to Lumpy.

Lumpy picked up the phone and dialed Skittles’ number before he waited for a response. After a few minutes, he heard Skittle’s voice.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Skittles, it’s Lumpy,” said Lumpy.

“Oh, hello Lumpy,” said Skittles.

“I have something to tell you,” Lumpy said. “Remember when I promised we’d go on a date?”

“Yes?” asked Skittles.

“Well, it turns out... I have a physical exam at 11 in the morning today,” Lumpy admitted.

“Oh Okay,” said Skittles.

“So I’ll be there for about two hours,” Lumpy went on, “but if it’s not too much trouble... could you pick me up after I’m done with the exam?”

“Of course. That will be no trouble at all,” said Skittles.

“Thank you,” Lumpy replied with a smile, although Skittles couldn’t see it.

“See you in two hours Lumpy, bye,” said Skittles.

"Bye." Lumpy then hung up the phone.

Lumpy looked up at the clock and saw it was 10:30AM and Lumpy gasped.

"I better get to the doctor's office!" said Lumpy.

So Lumpy stepped out of his Trailer, closed the door behind him, locked it and went straight to the Hospital.

* * *

 

Less than an hour later, Lumpy arrived at the hospital and signed in and he was now sitting in the waiting room.

Suddenly a nurse called Lumpy’s name.

“Lumpy?”

Hearing his name being called by her, Lumpy stood up.

“Yes?”

“Please come in here,” the nurse said.

Lumpy did as he was told and he entered the Doctor’s office.

“Step on the scale, please,” the nurse then said.

Lumpy stepped onto the scale and the nurse looked at what the scale read and wrote it down on a clipboard.

“Looks like you’ve lost a little weight,” she told Lumpy.

“Suppose I have,” said Lumpy.

“Next, I’ll get you ready for your physical exam,” the nurse said.

"That's is exactly why I'm here," Lumpy thought to himself.

The nurse took Lumpy into an examination room and had him sit down on the table before she took a hospital gown. Lumpy had seen these kind of gowns before so it was okay. The nurse placed it over Lumpy’s upper body to help him put it on, Lumpy pushed his arms through the sleeves of the hospital gown and then the Nurse closed it by tying up the knots.

“There we go,” said the nurse. “Now all you have to do is wait a bit, and Dr Wrinkles will be right with you.”

“Okay,” said Lumpy as nodded in understanding.

The nurse then walked out of the examination room, leaving Lumpy by himself and Lumpy simply sighed to himself as he looked around the examination room as he waited for Dr. Wrinkles. There wasn’t much to this room, just a lot of medical supplies like cotton balls, tissues, medical technology and the like and Lumpy sighed to himself again and after a few minutes, however, Dr Wrinkles arrived.

“Hello Dr. Wrinkles,” said Lumpy.

“Hello there, Lumpy,” Dr Wrinkles replied.

“I’m ready for the Physical exam,” said Lumpy.

"Okay, good, now let's get started," Dr Wrinkles said. With that, he put on some white gloves.

Lumpy just sat and waited for Dr. Wrinkles to start and Dr Wrinkles pulled out a tongue depressor and looked at Lumpy.

“Say ah, please,” said Dr Wrinkles.

“Ah!” said Lumpy as he opened his mouth.

And Dr Wrinkles looked into his mouth.

“Hmm...”

Lumpy waited for Dr. Wrinkles to answer.

“There’s nothing wrong with your throat, Lumpy,” Dr Wrinkles said.

“Thank god,” Lumpy thought and once Dr. Wrinkles pulled the tongue depressor out of his mouth, Lumpy asked:

“What next?”

Dr Wrinkles pulled out his neck tool, a stethoscope. He put it on and pressed the end gently to Lumpy’s chest and he listened to Lumpy’s heart.

“THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!” went Lumpy’s heart.

"Your heartbeat is regular," said Dr Wrinkles.

"Phew," said Lumpy.

“And now let’s check your breathing,” Dr Wrinkles said. He placed the end of the stethoscope on Lumpy’s back. “Breathe in.”

Lumpy breathed in.

“Breathe out,” Dr Wrinkles then said.

Lumpy breathed out.

“One more deep breathe, please?” Dr Wrinkles then asked.

Lumpy took a deep breath and then breathed out again.

“I’d say your breathing is normal,” said Dr Wrinkles.

"Phew," said Lumpy again.

Dr Wrinkles put down his stethoscope.

“Next I’d like to check your blood pressure,” he said to Lumpy.

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles pulled out a blood pressure strap and wrapped it around Lumpy’s arm and then switched on the blood pressure machine and the strap began to tighten, causing Lumpy to wince.

“Why does it have to be so tight?” asked Lumpy.

“That’s how your blood pressure is taken,” said Dr Wrinkles.

“Okay,” said Lumpy in understood.

Dr Wrinkles then looked at the reading on the blood pressure machine, it read “95” on it.

“I’d say your blood pressure is also normal,” Dr Wrinkles said.

“Thank god,” said Lumpy.

And then Dr Wrinkles removed the blood pressure strap from Lumpy’s arm.

“Now I’m going to need a urine sample from you next,” Dr Wrinkles said.

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

“What you need to do...” Dr Wrinkles held up a sample container. “...is take this into the bathroom and relieve your bladder into it.”

“Okay,” said Lumpy as he got up from the examination table, took the sample container from Dr. Wrinkles, “But where is the bathroom?”

“Would you like me to help you find the way?” Dr Wrinkles kindly asked.

Lumpy nodded. “Yes please.”

Dr Wrinkles opened the door, led Lumpy out and helped him find the restroom.

"So where is the bathroom?" asked Lumpy.

“Right over there,” Dr Wrinkles said as he pointed to a door that had a male/female symbol on it.

Lumpy went into the bathroom, entered one of the cubicles and locked the door of that cubicle.

Lumpy sat down on the toilet, opened up the sample container, held it underneath his privates and let loose. He could feel the stream making its way into and filling up the container.

"Man that's feels so warm," Lumpy thought to himself.

Finally Lumpy finished going, pulled the container out and placed the lid on it. Lumpy then got off the toilet, unlocked the door of cubicle, went out of the cubicle and then went out of the bathroom. He returned to Dr Wrinkles’ office and handed him the sample container.

“Alright, here’s my urine sample,” Lumpy said.

Dr. Wrinkles took the container from Lumpy and then Lumpy sat back down on the examination table.

“Next we’re going to do a blood test,” said Dr Wrinkles.

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles pressed gently under Lumpy’s arm, trying to find what he described as “the right vein.” Lumpy watched Dr Wrinkles do this. After a few seconds, Dr Wrinkles smiled, then pulled out a needle connected to a blood test machine and Lumpy saw the needle and felt a bit nervous. Dr Wrinkles inserted the needle directly into Lumpy's arm, into the "right vein" and Lumpy winced in pain and then Dr Wrinkles turned on the machine, causing it to suck some of Lumpy’s blood into it through the needle and the blood traveled into the machine.

Eventually the machine had as much blood as it needed, so Dr Wrinkles removed the needle from Lumpy's arm.

"Phew," said Lumpy when Dr. Wrinkles removed the needle from his arm.

"Now to analyze your blood, and see if everything's alright," Dr Wrinkles said as he looked at the machine's screen.

"Okay," said Lumpy.

After a few minutes of identifying Lumpy’s blood, Dr Wrinkles smiled.

“Yep, looks like everything’s fine,” said Dr Wrinkles.

"Phew," said Lumpy.

“Alright, Lumpy, next I’m going to perform a rectal reading,” Dr Wrinkles said.

"Okay," said Lumpy.

Lumpy stood up, pulled down his pants, turned around and leaned forward as Dr Wrinkles put on a rubber glove.

"So how's this work? Do you just feel my pulse, or- EEEEK!" Lumpy winced as he felt Dr Wrinkles touch his backside.

“Calm down, Lumpy,” said Dr Wrinkles. “Every adult male has to go through this once in a while.”

"S-Sorry..." Lumpy said as he tried to hold still. But the unfamiliar sensation felt so... weird... Lumpy tried to keep very still.

“On the plus side, it looks like your prostate is looking fine,” Dr Wrinkles stated.

"Thank goodness," said Lumpy as he pulled his pants back up and sat back down on the examination table.

“We’re going to check your eyes next,” Dr Wrinkles said.

"Okay," said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles carefully pulled up one of Lumpy's eyelids to get a good view of his eye. He then took a ophthalmoscope and looked into the eye with it.

Lumpy remained calm as Dr. Wrinkles did this.

"Your eyes look healthy," Dr Wrinkles said.

"Thank goodness," said Lumpy.

"I'm going to check your sinuses next," Dr Wrinkles said as he put down the ophthalmoscope.

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles pressed his hand gently against both sides of Lumpy's nose to check his sinuses and Lumpy remained calm when Dr. Wrinkles did this.

After a few moments, Dr Wrinkles said, “I’d say your sinuses are clear.”

“Thank god,” said Lumpy.

Lumpy didn’t know how or why he wasn’t sneezing while Dr Wrinkles was pressing the sides of his nose together, but he was still relieved.

“Now what?” asked Lumpy.

“I think we should give you a shot,” Dr Wrinkles said as he pulled his hand off of Lumpy’s nose.

"Okay but what for exactly?" asked Lumpy nervously.

“Have you heard of immunizations, Lumpy?” asked Dr Wrinkles. “They protect you from certain illnesses, and overall make you feel healthier.”

“Okay I understand,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles pulled out a hypodermic needle. "There's also the fact that most shots are considered easier ways to administer medicine than swallowing pills or liquid."

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles inserted the tip of the needle gently into Lumpy's arm, and then pushed the plunger on it to send the liquid into Lumpy's bloodstream and Lumpy winced in pain but just then, Dr Wrinkles pulled the needle out of Lumpy's arm and Lumpy sighed with relief and then Dr Wrinkles then took a bandage, removed the non-sticky parts and placed the bandage right where Lumpy had gotten his shot.

"There you go," said Dr Wrinkles.

“Thanks,” said Lumpy.

"Before you leave, I'm going to prescribe you with a liquid medicine that you should take," Dr Wrinkles. "It'll further improve your immune system."

“Okay,” said Lumpy.

Dr Wrinkles wrote something down on a prescription paper and handed it to Lumpy.

"One of the receptionists should have it ready," said Dr Wrinkles.

“Okay thanks,” said Lumpy.

“You’re welcome, Lumpy,” Dr Wrinkles said with a smile.

Lumpy then removed the Hospital gown, got off the examination table, walked out of the doctor’s office and walked over to the reception.

“I’d like to turn in this subscription, please,” Lumpy said to the receptionist.

“Oh of course,” said the receptionist.

The receptionist took the paper, looked at it and gave Lumpy a bottle of the medicine that the paper mentioned.

"Thanks," said Lumpy as he took the bottle of the medicine.

“You’re welcome, Lumpy,” the receptionist replied.

* * *

 

Outside of the Hospital, Lumpy’s girlfriend Skittles was sitting in the driver’s seat of her car and was tapping her fingers while she was waiting for Lumpy but finally Lumpy came out from the hospital’s doors and walked over to Skittles’ car. He opened the passenger door and stepped in, smiling at Skittles.

“Thanks for picking me up, Skits,” said Lumpy.

“No problem Lumpy,” said Skittles as she started the engine and drove away from the hospital, “So how did your Physical Exam go?”

"It was alright," said Lumpy. "I got this medicine that I'm gonna take after our date. Not sure how it'll help me, but Dr Wrinkles recommended it to me."

“You mean he prescribed you with medicine?” asked Skittles.

"Apparently," Lumpy said. He put it away, somehow fitting it in his pocket. "But let's not worry about it now."

“Okay,” said Skittles as she drove on, “Where are we going for our date?”

“Well, I booked us two tickets for tonight’s showing of The Monster from the Tar Pits, then we go to a Restaurant for dinner and then we go for an evening drive,” said Lumpy.

"That sounds great," said Skittles with a smile.

"So let's go to the cinema," said Lumpy.

Skittles smiled and headed towards the movie theatre. There were a couple in this forest, but this one - the Happy Tree Cinema - was the one where the movie that Lumpy had mentioned would be playing.


End file.
